Hi! My name is Leah, and I am here to share with you my journey of struggles with my skin and how I’ve gained the confidence to accept myself as I am while navigating with a rare skin disease.

It’s been a work in progress, and I still have days that I struggle. I hope to encourage others who have ever felt embarrassed about their body, specifically by having a skin condition.

Rewind to January 2023, I broke out in a rash on my chest a week before our wedding.

Sweat is a trigger that activates my skin condition, I was diagnosed with in 2020.  I relocated from Arizona to Colorado in the winter and I was cold all the time while adjusting. I bundled up in layers at night and woke up sweating a few nights in a row. Our “smart” thermostat settings took a bit to figure out, so the problem only got worse.

In faith, I promised myself I would be okay no matter what my skin looked like on our wedding day. I had committed to a strapless wedding dress about six months before, praying I would have my skin in order on our Big Day. Now my confidence was being put to the test publicly. There was no going back now.

My goal with this blog is to give hope and acknowledgment to those who struggle with their skin in different ways by providing resources and information regarding health that can help benefit us all in feeling better in our bodies. We often keep silent because of embarrassment or feeling that no one will understand.

A rare skin disease diagnosis was not my first rodeo with my skin. Although it wasn’t what I expected, it wasn’t a shocker. I have many skin stories of rashes, acne, and allergic skin reactions over the years. This diagnosis led to my awakening on a lot of things and led me down a path to use my struggle to help others.

Skin is your biggest organ and the only organ that is visible for all to see. Aside from physical health, skin problems are correlated with mental health as they can lead to social anxiety, and depression, and cause a lot of stress. (To say the least).

As a sidenote, shout out to all the people who have googled and tried multitudes of skin remedies you wouldn't imagine telling people of things you have tried to put on your skin rash, well I've been there.

How you feel about yourself when you are by yourself is critical. I am an only child and have always had a longing to fit in and although most people won’t admit it, I do care to a certain extent about what people think about me. In the last year, I’ve begun doing the work to quiet my inner critic and to treat myself with the kindness and compassion that I freely give others.

Dr. Neff’s book Self-Compassion has been a game changer on how I speak to and view myself and part of what led to the concept of Skin Compassion. I have been through ups and downs of learning to love myself in the skin I am regardless of if it is clear or flared up in a rash.

Self-compassion is driven by love and is looking out for your best interests and placing value on yourself. This is different than being selfish. Self-compassion is listening to your inner voice and desiring to be healthy by seeking to change harmful thought patterns in your life and replace them with new healthy ones.

The opposite of self-compassion is self-criticism driven by fear of not measuring up. Self-criticism is tied to ego, desire for control, proving yourself, and increases suffering. Sounds fun, right? We all need to suffer more for things out of our control… says no one ever!

While my work ethic and striving for perfection have driven me to be successful and achieve positive results in my work life, it has also caused detrimental harm to my mental health when I beat myself up and led to pushing myself to the point of burnout both personally and professionally a few times. More on that later. Stress has a big impact on your health and not in a positive way.

In talking with other women about these and other issues, there is a commonality in many of our stories. Women struggle with our identities and being good enough. The "enough" part can vary by person. You might not feel good enough at being a mom that has everything together. Your house might not be clean enough compared to magazines or Instagram posts. You might not feel thin enough compared to your weight ten years ago or before children. The list goes on.

Identity crisis is a stronghold, and it doesn’t have your best interest in mind.

I find it troublesome that there is a theme of guilt and shame in all these narratives. A false perception that there is something you can DO to overcome the lack, to bring you up to standards. But who’s standards?

Maybe we need to stop trying all the fad diets and fitting into an unachievable box that we weren’t meant to be in. Maybe we just need to be. We need to be ourselves with our unique quirks and struggles. Maybe we should be more kind to those around us who seem like they have it together while inwardly they are struggling.

The fear for me in all this, in being very vulnerable and transparent in sharing all of this openly (on the internet!) is what if I fail?

“What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?”

That question gets me every time. If God is for me, then who can be against me? There are many scriptures in the Bible that give us confidence to approach difficult life circumstances.

You may have a different faith than I do, or you’re still trying to figure out if God exists and what you believe in. Wherever you are at in that, I support you without judgment.

We are all in a different season in our spiritual journey and for me that is my relationship with our Creator. Although I have been a believer from a young age, there has been a steep learning curve that refined me to who I am today. I am still learning to accept and embrace God’s truth in my life and apply it.

The skin "problems" I have struggled with all my life are no longer an embarrassment to me that I feel shame of the need to cover up. It's the opposite. I feel compelled to share my journey with others and my faith is a part of me.

In the Bible, Romans 8:31-39 it emphasizes the concept that in Him we are more than conquerors to overcome the challenges that life brings our way. We can use the seemingly bad things for good. Even though I don't have all the answers, I have faith and confidence God is with me.

I have been my worst critic and struggle to accept the difficult parts of me. Some of these verses I remember back to childhood attending church programs. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:13-14a. It's taken me awhile to receive that verse.

Instead of focusing on what people think or about potential failure, the real concern is WHO am I not helping by holding back my story and information that could help transform someone else's life?

When I think about all of the people who are suffering from mental health challenges and other health diagnosis who have experienced a great disservice by a lot of mainstream narratives and our current "sick care system" it fuels my motivation to share my story.

We are given pills, creams, and excuses to cover up some of the underlying problems in our food supply system and toxic chemicals in our environments.

The underlying issue is more than skin deep. Healing comes within. And it starts with loving yourself, and committing to the journey and all that comes with it: both failures and successes in your story.

If you aren't moving forward, you are moving backward. Let that really soak in...

As long as you are still trying and have faith, healing is out there for you. Even if you have tried dozens of solutions and not found the answer, hold on to the hope that it's out there.

I will be sharing more information on skin health and the connection with gut health, and all the lessons I've learned in the ups and downs with my skin condition plus other interesting skin problems I've encountered over the years. I have many random skin stories that make me laugh now and even if you don't relate, maybe they will make you feel better about your circumstances.

I want to start off by encouraging you that wherever you are at, you are not alone.  Most people aren't shouting from the mountaintops about their deepest issues and fears. We are all going through something. 

Start by just accepting where you are (even if you don't like it). Commit to learning and pursuing the journey toward healing. Healing is not only physical but much more importantly mental and emotional. 

Coming back to how you feel about yourself when you are by yourself, are you complacent and just accepting what society or healthcare professionals have told you is your future?

OR, are you giving it your best effort to your greatest potential/capability for where you are at in this present moment (whether a good day or bad) to be open to new potential solutions and improvement, whatever that might end up looking like? 

Thank you for taking the time to hear part of my story and I hope I can be a light in even a small part of yours. 

With Hope and Encouragement,

Leah Z

Let’s pause for a check-in on some of your biggest skin challenges. I never knew how common it was for other people to have a plethora of skin issues until I found a support group for my skin condition on Facebook and started hearing people's stories.

Many people google, research, and try all sorts of prescription or over-the-counter creams, homemade remedies (that can get really random), lifestyle, and dietary changes to improve their skin. Many people visit medical doctors, and several dermatologists only to run in circles and spend a lot of time and money without answers.

All this time, I was suffering in silence and shame, feeling embarrassed and different. This ends here.

What are your biggest challenges with skin?